Apparently I live on Sesame Street where profanities are a huge no no. Of course, while raising children I try to keep my sailor-self in check...most days. As a matter of fact I have started swearing like Donna Reed, no really. The other day my 3 year old spilled 1/2 a gallon of milk on the floor and (to protect his ears) I yell "Oh Fudgesicles!" He giggled and I cried over spilled milk. My potty mouth has gone full Disney channel. Whether it's a broken vase, spilled milk, unruly child, I have lost my ability to get the point across.
The other night the boys were playing in the house and broke my antique vase and the words out of my mouth "That really frosts my cookies!" Hey, I yelled it but did I really get the point across? Nope. I feel as if I need to go PG-13 on my language at least. Right now this is my "Mom" curse word breakdown:
"That really frosts my cookies" = I'm really pissed off!
"Shut the front door" = "Shut the hell up" or literally "shut the front door." (boys never shut the door behind themselves.)
"God Bless America." (and yes, I do say that quite often) =God Damn it!
"Fudgesicles" = FUCK!!!!
Sometimes, in my head, I yell exactly what I'm thinking "Oh, you played ball in the house and broke my vase? That really frosts my cookies!" Um, NO! What I'm really thinking is
"Son of a Bitch! I just heard a fucking glass break as if cleaning up all this God damned spilled milk wasn't enough now I have to sweep up my mother fucking glass vase ...Where the FUCK is your Father!!!!?
Piece of Mom Advice: Clean up the glass, put on a movie, pour a glass of wine and let the world keep spinning.
The other night the boys were playing in the house and broke my antique vase and the words out of my mouth "That really frosts my cookies!" Hey, I yelled it but did I really get the point across? Nope. I feel as if I need to go PG-13 on my language at least. Right now this is my "Mom" curse word breakdown:
"That really frosts my cookies" = I'm really pissed off!
"Shut the front door" = "Shut the hell up" or literally "shut the front door." (boys never shut the door behind themselves.)
"God Bless America." (and yes, I do say that quite often) =God Damn it!
"Fudgesicles" = FUCK!!!!
Sometimes, in my head, I yell exactly what I'm thinking "Oh, you played ball in the house and broke my vase? That really frosts my cookies!" Um, NO! What I'm really thinking is
"Son of a Bitch! I just heard a fucking glass break as if cleaning up all this God damned spilled milk wasn't enough now I have to sweep up my mother fucking glass vase ...Where the FUCK is your Father!!!!?
Piece of Mom Advice: Clean up the glass, put on a movie, pour a glass of wine and let the world keep spinning.