You ever have one of "those days?" LOL..of course you have!
You have kids!
We parents can tolerate quite a lot. Fights, yelling, messes, spilled milk, bruises, broken antique vases from our dearly departed Grandmothers that are irreplaceable...(tears) But...that's OK! You know why it's ok?????
WINE!!!!
There ya go..I've just solved all your problems. I could end my blog now but then how would I get Gallo to contribute to my therapy? You may be laughing but I genuinely feel as though if you have anymore than 2 kids, wine will be your salvation!
(O M G...I sound like a Televangelist... but for alcohol.)
I love my life and my job, I love my husband and my kids but Holy Buckets I'd probably be in a loonie bin somewhere without wine. (And yes, I know I just cussed like Donna Reed...it's because I have kids..for Pete's Sake!) Not to stray too far from the topic but...who the hell is Pete? Anyone? (1st person to comment get...wait for it...WINE!)
I came home today and thought...I have to pick up the kids, run to the store, start dinner, start homework, do bath time, brush teeth, get everyone in bed. Ugh!
Not to mention I'm fighting a battle against the school's yard duties...Mom VS Yard Duty...yea, I'm gonna win...wanna know why? (Not wine! What are you thinking?) I'm a bad ass that's why! (Oh yea, I said Ass! It's my blog and I"ll cuss if I want to! As a matter of fact...ass, ass, ass!) Ah ha ha, I love that my kids can't read this!
Really though, sometimes I'm just so overwhelmed by my responsibilities or kids or just life, that I just want to hide. Not crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head kind of hide but literally hide from everyone and steal a few minutes for myself. I'm curious as to where everyone's hiding places are? Not your kids hiding places..YOUR hiding places. You know, those secret little nooks and crannies you use to hide from your kids.
Ok, fine, I'll go first....
Hiding Place #1:The Bathroom
Duh! It's kind of a 2 for 1 because;
a. I don't care if everyone knows I'm in there and
b. no one is allowed to bother me because I'm doing my business. (P.S. this works on both kids and husbands.) If i'm at my breaking point all I have to do is fake a few stomach cramps and tell my hubbs I need to go potty. It's the perfect lie! He won't dare bother me because men still think women don't poop, so you're clear there. And as a bonus, he thinks your indisposed and he'll keep the kids away too!
"Hello! Winning!" I mean, sometimes I'm actually using the toilet but 90% of the time I'm sitting in the bathtub checking my Facebook page. But hey, what they don't know won't kill 'em.
Hiding Place #2: The Closet
My closet. Ah yes, the good old closet. There are those times when it's either I hide & take a moment for myself or I pull out all my hair and join a circus. I do enjoy a nice quiet place to just sit and the closet is just too perfect to ignore. It's dark & quiet, only one way in and one way out. I can sit on the floor, grab one of the Space Saver Cubes that has all our winter blankets in it, lean back and relax. So if you ever come over and my family is running around like they've just snorted 30 packets of Sweet N' Low, then you'll know where to find me. Hiding in the closet, reading 50 Shades of Grey & sipping some wine that I have hidden under the bridesmaid dress from my sister's 2nd wedding. It's perfect!
Hiding place #3: The Kitchen
"The kitchen?" you ask yourself. "Yup! I know this sounds crazy but no one in my family ever goes in there looking for me. See I have a theory about the kitchen...
Men (all men) old and young, big & small, they are allergic to the kitchen. If someone's thirsty it's "Mom! I'm thirsty, can you get me some water?" And, "Babe, will you grab me a beer from the fridge?" You'll seldom see a man in the kitchen except for maybe major holidays. Even when Mom is too sick to stand, my boys don't venture into the kitchen...they call & order pizza.
So basically I believe they are either allergic to the kitchen or maybe there's this magical force field that prevents them from crossing the threshold into the area where food is prepared. Either way, I can often sit on the floor, leaning up against the cupboards and have a moments peace while sipping a fermented grape beverage. And literally no one will look for me there! It's pure genius!!
I think the point is that as women we need to take a stand and demand better benefits. We may not get paid very well for all the hats we wear but damn it...we deserve a little break here and there. And let's be honest, everyone is better off at the end of the day when mom gets a breather and a little vino in her! Hail to the grape!
You have kids!
We parents can tolerate quite a lot. Fights, yelling, messes, spilled milk, bruises, broken antique vases from our dearly departed Grandmothers that are irreplaceable...(tears) But...that's OK! You know why it's ok?????
WINE!!!!
There ya go..I've just solved all your problems. I could end my blog now but then how would I get Gallo to contribute to my therapy? You may be laughing but I genuinely feel as though if you have anymore than 2 kids, wine will be your salvation!
(O M G...I sound like a Televangelist... but for alcohol.)
I love my life and my job, I love my husband and my kids but Holy Buckets I'd probably be in a loonie bin somewhere without wine. (And yes, I know I just cussed like Donna Reed...it's because I have kids..for Pete's Sake!) Not to stray too far from the topic but...who the hell is Pete? Anyone? (1st person to comment get...wait for it...WINE!)
I came home today and thought...I have to pick up the kids, run to the store, start dinner, start homework, do bath time, brush teeth, get everyone in bed. Ugh!
Not to mention I'm fighting a battle against the school's yard duties...Mom VS Yard Duty...yea, I'm gonna win...wanna know why? (Not wine! What are you thinking?) I'm a bad ass that's why! (Oh yea, I said Ass! It's my blog and I"ll cuss if I want to! As a matter of fact...ass, ass, ass!) Ah ha ha, I love that my kids can't read this!
Really though, sometimes I'm just so overwhelmed by my responsibilities or kids or just life, that I just want to hide. Not crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head kind of hide but literally hide from everyone and steal a few minutes for myself. I'm curious as to where everyone's hiding places are? Not your kids hiding places..YOUR hiding places. You know, those secret little nooks and crannies you use to hide from your kids.
Ok, fine, I'll go first....
Hiding Place #1:The Bathroom
Duh! It's kind of a 2 for 1 because;
a. I don't care if everyone knows I'm in there and
b. no one is allowed to bother me because I'm doing my business. (P.S. this works on both kids and husbands.) If i'm at my breaking point all I have to do is fake a few stomach cramps and tell my hubbs I need to go potty. It's the perfect lie! He won't dare bother me because men still think women don't poop, so you're clear there. And as a bonus, he thinks your indisposed and he'll keep the kids away too!
"Hello! Winning!" I mean, sometimes I'm actually using the toilet but 90% of the time I'm sitting in the bathtub checking my Facebook page. But hey, what they don't know won't kill 'em.
Hiding Place #2: The Closet
My closet. Ah yes, the good old closet. There are those times when it's either I hide & take a moment for myself or I pull out all my hair and join a circus. I do enjoy a nice quiet place to just sit and the closet is just too perfect to ignore. It's dark & quiet, only one way in and one way out. I can sit on the floor, grab one of the Space Saver Cubes that has all our winter blankets in it, lean back and relax. So if you ever come over and my family is running around like they've just snorted 30 packets of Sweet N' Low, then you'll know where to find me. Hiding in the closet, reading 50 Shades of Grey & sipping some wine that I have hidden under the bridesmaid dress from my sister's 2nd wedding. It's perfect!
Hiding place #3: The Kitchen
"The kitchen?" you ask yourself. "Yup! I know this sounds crazy but no one in my family ever goes in there looking for me. See I have a theory about the kitchen...
Men (all men) old and young, big & small, they are allergic to the kitchen. If someone's thirsty it's "Mom! I'm thirsty, can you get me some water?" And, "Babe, will you grab me a beer from the fridge?" You'll seldom see a man in the kitchen except for maybe major holidays. Even when Mom is too sick to stand, my boys don't venture into the kitchen...they call & order pizza.
So basically I believe they are either allergic to the kitchen or maybe there's this magical force field that prevents them from crossing the threshold into the area where food is prepared. Either way, I can often sit on the floor, leaning up against the cupboards and have a moments peace while sipping a fermented grape beverage. And literally no one will look for me there! It's pure genius!!
I think the point is that as women we need to take a stand and demand better benefits. We may not get paid very well for all the hats we wear but damn it...we deserve a little break here and there. And let's be honest, everyone is better off at the end of the day when mom gets a breather and a little vino in her! Hail to the grape!
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