Well fuckity, fuck, fuck! I'm only on day #2 of my new job... 2nd Grade teacher, 4th grade teacher oh and every subject for a freshman in high school who happened to be in advance placement classes. Which it totally fine since I passed all AP classes in school. Ah ha ha! Just kidding, I barely made it through basic geometry..I'm about as f-ed as Ariana Grande in a donut shop! But, if I do say so myself, I've been dealing with the quarantine these last few days like a boss.
I set a daily class schedule with recesses, snacks, history, art, math, cooking, English, life skills, California History and time for journaling. I read that when kids have a set schedule and can journal their feelings it gives them a sense of normalcy and control. Also that their thoughts as children will help them later reflect on current events. Now, question. When do I get to feel that same control and normalcy?
I mean, last week my normal was shopping on Sunday for what I needed for food for the next week. Now my normal is going to the store and praying there is at least 2 cans of soup or pasta sauce I can purchase along with my one pack of 4 rolls of t.p. to last a family of 5 a week. (Side note: Thank God I have all boys and they can pee on every weed I have the backyard. So if any of my friends come over after the quarantine is lifted and think my backyard is Eden, just ignore the fact my glowing green lawn smells like asparagus.)
I think everyone's "normal" has changed, including attitues. Yesterday I went to Save Mart and the clerk, who has helped me a million times and has always been a ray of sunshine each and every time, was so rude to me that I stopped her and straight up asked her why she was being so mean to me. (No joke.)
I had 3 boxes of stuffing and she about tore me a new one when she said "You can only have 2!"
"Ummm, ok, no worries, just give me two." Then, when she saw I had 4 cans of soup. Well shit, the look on her face was that of "Did you really think you were going to get more than 2 cans or did you just want me to donate one of my kidneys to you too?"
Ok...freggin' soup nazi! 2 cans of soup per customer, I get it. I told her there was no sign on the shelf and I was sorry. Not that it helped, she wouldn't even make eye contact with me. Then she suddenly looked up and snapped "Well! What 2 cans do you want!?" And, that's when my normal "Nancy is a nice person" went 50 shades of scary-mom-calm and said "I'm sorry. Is there a reason you are being so mean and aggressive towards me right now?" The man standing behind me looked at me, then looked at the cashier and said "Yea. Why are you being so rude to this young lady?"
(He called me 'Young' lady, hehe! I get it, scary virus and social quarantine but this guy behind me thinks I'm young! Well, that made my day. Might just have to buy him a roll of toilet paper.)
Ok, going back to normalcy.
What is my new "normalcy?" Is it normal that I had to defend my 2 boxes of low sodium stuffing or convince the cashier at the store I only wanted my soup and not her extra kidney? Is it normal I had to spend 35 minutes begging my kids to stop talking, laughing and joking long enough to write 5 sentences in their daily journal? Is it normal I had to leave the room to cry because they won't listen to me? Is it normal I have to hide in the bathroom and Google their math questions because it's been so long since I was in school that I have no f-ing idea how to prove 1+1=2?
Is it normal I want to drink and it's only 11:30? We haven't even had lunch yet and I feel like I can justify a liquid lunch.
Breath Nancy, just breath and you'll get through this. Ok, what can I do to teach them and get a little personal space? History is next...thank you Lord for creating Youtube. Thank you Youtube for making 45 minute videos on the history of California's Gold rush!
I told my kids to sit, watch some history while I make lunch, blog and drink. Oh wait what? I meant...ummm...make coffee. Yeah! Yeah, that's what I meant...coofffeeee, yup, that's what's in my cup. Wink-Wink!
After this virus ends I'm going to volunteer every single freaking day at the school. I mean, damn! All of our teachers are saints! My kids teachers, your kids teachers, the office staff...I am going to personally write a letter to Gallo Winery requesting every teacher and school personnel be gifted a year long supply of wine because DAMN! Kids are hard to teach. I gave birth to 3 of them and it's hard. (Any mom whose like 'Oh my baby Angel is a little princess/prince and is calm and quiet and does whatever I say." Well guess what? NO WINE FOR YOU!!!
So with that said...Mrs. B... Mrs. L and all the high school teachers who have my freshman teenager in their classes. Thank you for your patience because I thought that patience is a virtue I had, until I had to teach my kids.
Thank you for staying sober while having 30 students in your class, because I don't think I could. Thank you for having a lesson plan and knowing what to teach and when to teach it because I'm flying blind...and drunk...and I'm pretty sure I'll die of a massive stroke brought on by stress way before the Corona virus can get me.
#teachersforPresident
I set a daily class schedule with recesses, snacks, history, art, math, cooking, English, life skills, California History and time for journaling. I read that when kids have a set schedule and can journal their feelings it gives them a sense of normalcy and control. Also that their thoughts as children will help them later reflect on current events. Now, question. When do I get to feel that same control and normalcy?
I mean, last week my normal was shopping on Sunday for what I needed for food for the next week. Now my normal is going to the store and praying there is at least 2 cans of soup or pasta sauce I can purchase along with my one pack of 4 rolls of t.p. to last a family of 5 a week. (Side note: Thank God I have all boys and they can pee on every weed I have the backyard. So if any of my friends come over after the quarantine is lifted and think my backyard is Eden, just ignore the fact my glowing green lawn smells like asparagus.)
I think everyone's "normal" has changed, including attitues. Yesterday I went to Save Mart and the clerk, who has helped me a million times and has always been a ray of sunshine each and every time, was so rude to me that I stopped her and straight up asked her why she was being so mean to me. (No joke.)
I had 3 boxes of stuffing and she about tore me a new one when she said "You can only have 2!"
"Ummm, ok, no worries, just give me two." Then, when she saw I had 4 cans of soup. Well shit, the look on her face was that of "Did you really think you were going to get more than 2 cans or did you just want me to donate one of my kidneys to you too?"
Ok...freggin' soup nazi! 2 cans of soup per customer, I get it. I told her there was no sign on the shelf and I was sorry. Not that it helped, she wouldn't even make eye contact with me. Then she suddenly looked up and snapped "Well! What 2 cans do you want!?" And, that's when my normal "Nancy is a nice person" went 50 shades of scary-mom-calm and said "I'm sorry. Is there a reason you are being so mean and aggressive towards me right now?" The man standing behind me looked at me, then looked at the cashier and said "Yea. Why are you being so rude to this young lady?"
(He called me 'Young' lady, hehe! I get it, scary virus and social quarantine but this guy behind me thinks I'm young! Well, that made my day. Might just have to buy him a roll of toilet paper.)
Ok, going back to normalcy.
What is my new "normalcy?" Is it normal that I had to defend my 2 boxes of low sodium stuffing or convince the cashier at the store I only wanted my soup and not her extra kidney? Is it normal I had to spend 35 minutes begging my kids to stop talking, laughing and joking long enough to write 5 sentences in their daily journal? Is it normal I had to leave the room to cry because they won't listen to me? Is it normal I have to hide in the bathroom and Google their math questions because it's been so long since I was in school that I have no f-ing idea how to prove 1+1=2?
Is it normal I want to drink and it's only 11:30? We haven't even had lunch yet and I feel like I can justify a liquid lunch.
Breath Nancy, just breath and you'll get through this. Ok, what can I do to teach them and get a little personal space? History is next...thank you Lord for creating Youtube. Thank you Youtube for making 45 minute videos on the history of California's Gold rush!
I told my kids to sit, watch some history while I make lunch, blog and drink. Oh wait what? I meant...ummm...make coffee. Yeah! Yeah, that's what I meant...coofffeeee, yup, that's what's in my cup. Wink-Wink!
After this virus ends I'm going to volunteer every single freaking day at the school. I mean, damn! All of our teachers are saints! My kids teachers, your kids teachers, the office staff...I am going to personally write a letter to Gallo Winery requesting every teacher and school personnel be gifted a year long supply of wine because DAMN! Kids are hard to teach. I gave birth to 3 of them and it's hard. (Any mom whose like 'Oh my baby Angel is a little princess/prince and is calm and quiet and does whatever I say." Well guess what? NO WINE FOR YOU!!!
So with that said...Mrs. B... Mrs. L and all the high school teachers who have my freshman teenager in their classes. Thank you for your patience because I thought that patience is a virtue I had, until I had to teach my kids.
Thank you for staying sober while having 30 students in your class, because I don't think I could. Thank you for having a lesson plan and knowing what to teach and when to teach it because I'm flying blind...and drunk...and I'm pretty sure I'll die of a massive stroke brought on by stress way before the Corona virus can get me.
#teachersforPresident