Thursday I had to go to the gyno. Whatever, no big deal. I mean once upon a time , in my 20's, it was a terrifying experience where I'd always be sure to wear the longest socks I owned as to not be totally necked and exposed with the doctor. Now after having had 3 babies (all c-sections) it's no big deal. I mean Dancing with the Stars could film in my patient room and I could care less.
I will say that I do always make my appointments first thing in the morning so my "who-ha" isn't the last thing the doctor see's before heading home but even then, she probably doesn't think mine is any more fabulous than the last 30 she saw that day.
Anyway, it turns out my regular doctor of 16 years has now closed her practice due to Covid and now only delivers babies at the hospital. I was surprised but really, no one wants to be exposed to a Rona-Vag, am I right?
So off I go, to meet my new doctor. Her name was Dr. L-something-something I couldn't pronounce so I call her "Dr. L" because it sounds mysterious, like she use to be a spy but got kicked out of MI6 and is now pursuing her career in gynecology. I mean she's never delivered any of my kids and has never even met me but like I said, whatever. If you've seen one you've seen them all, right?
Here's where things get a little weird... The day of my appointment I realized I didn't so much have nerves floating through my head as much as excitement. Excitement that I was actually going to get some time all by myself! I was going somewhere that I couldn't take my kids. And in some weird and twisted way I was looking forward to it. I mean, hello!? I was going to have some much needed alone time. Just me, sitting in a waiting room reading the latest People magazine. Chillin' in the patient room with no one screaming at me they need another Capri Sun. No TV's blaring YouTube videos of Minecraft. No video game gunshots piercing my work phone calls. Just me and a little Kenny-G playing on the overhead PA system. Calmness wrapped in a paper gown.
I get most women get a little nervous about going. So when I mentioned my appt. and new doc situation to a friend she was all about the "Ooh, a new gyno?! Eek! Oh man, that's nerve wracking!" I mean I guess I was a smidgen anxious about meeting a new person and displaying my bits and pieces for her so I did consider sprucing up a bit. I mean like all women I shaved from head to toe, sprayed a little Chanel around and even considered using some of my 90's body glitter,you know, just to set myself apart from the monotony of vaginas. I was just trying to be polite. Normally when I meet someone new I introduce myself, maybe bring them a nice bottle of wine. This was, well, a different situation all together but none the less, Dr. L was fabulous. She was sweet, funny and we instantly bonded over our love for the Netflix show Bridgerton (or the main actor) and our common love of Prosecco.
Fun fact, I told my husband this story and he didn't even bat an eyelash. He's not even remotely surprised I'm instant best friends with my gyno. Or the fact that earlier in the day I yelled from the bathroom, "Babe! Is it weird to va-jazzle for my new doctor or should I keep it classy?" Poor man, just shakes his head and says, "Whatever you decide just make sure to wear clean socks."
And that was my Thursday.
I will say that I do always make my appointments first thing in the morning so my "who-ha" isn't the last thing the doctor see's before heading home but even then, she probably doesn't think mine is any more fabulous than the last 30 she saw that day.
Anyway, it turns out my regular doctor of 16 years has now closed her practice due to Covid and now only delivers babies at the hospital. I was surprised but really, no one wants to be exposed to a Rona-Vag, am I right?
So off I go, to meet my new doctor. Her name was Dr. L-something-something I couldn't pronounce so I call her "Dr. L" because it sounds mysterious, like she use to be a spy but got kicked out of MI6 and is now pursuing her career in gynecology. I mean she's never delivered any of my kids and has never even met me but like I said, whatever. If you've seen one you've seen them all, right?
Here's where things get a little weird... The day of my appointment I realized I didn't so much have nerves floating through my head as much as excitement. Excitement that I was actually going to get some time all by myself! I was going somewhere that I couldn't take my kids. And in some weird and twisted way I was looking forward to it. I mean, hello!? I was going to have some much needed alone time. Just me, sitting in a waiting room reading the latest People magazine. Chillin' in the patient room with no one screaming at me they need another Capri Sun. No TV's blaring YouTube videos of Minecraft. No video game gunshots piercing my work phone calls. Just me and a little Kenny-G playing on the overhead PA system. Calmness wrapped in a paper gown.
I get most women get a little nervous about going. So when I mentioned my appt. and new doc situation to a friend she was all about the "Ooh, a new gyno?! Eek! Oh man, that's nerve wracking!" I mean I guess I was a smidgen anxious about meeting a new person and displaying my bits and pieces for her so I did consider sprucing up a bit. I mean like all women I shaved from head to toe, sprayed a little Chanel around and even considered using some of my 90's body glitter,you know, just to set myself apart from the monotony of vaginas. I was just trying to be polite. Normally when I meet someone new I introduce myself, maybe bring them a nice bottle of wine. This was, well, a different situation all together but none the less, Dr. L was fabulous. She was sweet, funny and we instantly bonded over our love for the Netflix show Bridgerton (or the main actor) and our common love of Prosecco.
Fun fact, I told my husband this story and he didn't even bat an eyelash. He's not even remotely surprised I'm instant best friends with my gyno. Or the fact that earlier in the day I yelled from the bathroom, "Babe! Is it weird to va-jazzle for my new doctor or should I keep it classy?" Poor man, just shakes his head and says, "Whatever you decide just make sure to wear clean socks."
And that was my Thursday.