It's official! I am a damaged woman, a bruised and battered mom. The kind of mom who, in 40 years, can definitively tell the doctor "Yes, doctor, I know the exact injury that rendered me with middle finger arthritis and the exact moment that left me with the right handed disability to flip people off."
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What the Fluck just happened to my day?!
Yea, so my day started with exactly that phase coming out of my mouth. As if the night before wasn't strange enough. It's Tuesday night, I'm cleaning up after dinner you know, all alone, in the kitchen, washing dishes and mindlessly staring out the front window. When picture this: A strange car pulls in front of my house woman gets out and runs to her passenger door. She grabs a cat carrier and rushes through the gates of my neighbors yard. (Remember we live at the end of a dead end street so I know this car does not belong here.) So this lady runs into the yard, opens the carrier and lets out like 5 frecking chikens!!! (And yes I've Googled it, their exact species is of the "Freckin' Chicken" variety ;o) Being a calm and sound minded woman I do the logical thing and RUN outside with my phone in tote. After snapping a picture of her car and license plate I patiently wait for her to run out of my neighbors yard. She sees me and I ask her what she is doing. She smiles this "crazy chicken lady" smile and shrugs her shoulders and says "Oh you know." "Oh, I KNOW?!" How the hell would I know what its like to randomly trespass into someone property and unload a crate full of chickens. Children maybe, but chickens?! Then she gives me this half laugh like "Oh I just murdered someone and stole their chickens." So I smiled and said "Well, I hope you have a great day." What else was I supose to do? I mean she clearly knows where I live. If I so much as threaten her I know I will spend the remainder of my days in this home cleaning eggs off my house. I mean come on! She's nuts and clearly has an undisclosed amount of eggs at her disposal. NOPE!!! I just smiled and bid her ado. I do not want to spend the next 30 years getting my house egged! I walk over and knock on my neighbors door, inform him of the "chicken dump-and-run" when he just laughs and says "Oh those chickens will be dead by morning. Do you know how many coyotes are around here?" Well, Shit! Now I've got to spend the rest of my evening trying to catch and save the poor innocent lives of these God damn chickens! I can't have their blood on my hands. So, let's wrap this up. Has anyone ever tried to catch a chicken?! Yup, damn near impossibe! But that's how I spent the rest of my night, trying to run around and catch chickens. So as you guessed that never happened. Those foul birds are FAST! So each morning we would wake up to the subtle cooing of 5 chickens outside our windows. (Mother F-ing chikens!!!! I'm exhausted and NO, 4 am is NOT my wake up time!) As the days progressed we heard less and less chickens clucking until one day there was one. One lone chicken in our yard. Of course I still tried to catch it but nope. I gave up the fight and this leads me to Wednesday morning (but like a week after the chicken dump and run.) I wake up after sleeping in till a ripe 5:15 am. No chicken sounds, no clucking, no cooing. Kind of a sad day and as I was brushing my teeth I said a little prayer to God to let those chickens be happy in Heaven. Got the boys ready for school, got ready for work. Pretty uneventful morning, we were even 5 minutes early when it happened. We walked out the door, backpacks and coffee in hand when we saw him. The lone chicken had slept on top of our new (used) white Mazda. At last! I had been given a chance of redemption to grab and save the soul of 1 chicken!!! I slowly dropped my cute, gold purse, set the coffee on the ground and slipped my heels off as I, with ballerina grace and sniper stealth I snuck to the chicken. I reached the car and the chickens eyes were still closed. I slowly reached with both hands when BOOM!!! My oh so quiet gand of 3 boys comes pouring out the front door like 3 drunken sailors in a bar fight! The poor chicken basically has a chicken heart attach and flies straight up in the air. Looks like he's attached to my white car with a string until I realize my boys were so loud the chicken literally shit himself as he was flying up. So there's chickens shit ALL over my car!!! Feathers flying, boys are screaming. I jump up tring to catch the mother F-er when he struts on to the other side of the car. We walk to that side..and HE WALKS to the other side! This goes on for about 10 minutes when I say srew it! I jump onto the car and the stupid chicken flies stright up and lands on the roof of my house. At this point I go inside, change clothes, get new coffee,. The kids are already late so really who gives a crap what time it is. As I walk to the car, again, I look up at him. Lone chicken is sitting on my roof and just tell him "Good luck dude. You're on your own." I still feel a little guilt when I realize its's been 3 weeks and no chicken sounds. But a little evil part of me says "I'm sorry I couldn't catch him God, but thank you for letting me sleep again." As I roll over and hit snooze. It's F*cking hot! I know, I know, Mom's don't cuss, right?! Ah ha ha ha!! Well they do when it's 104 degrees outside and they live in California, in the valley, you know the "armpit of California." Oh and did I mention I'm on day #4 without air conditioning? Yea, so like I said, I'm living in Hell.
Myself, my kids,my husband, dang, my cats and dogs make my house look like a murder scene. No but really, everyone is laying on the floor, stretched out, just not moving and barely breathing. It looks like an episode of CSI. Apparently my house is SO old the breaker box is shot and needs replacing. In the meantime our a/c is out due to the box being shotty and we can't get anyone out to look at it until Monday, you know, on account of it being the dead of summer in California and everyone and their brother's uncle needs their a/c fixed. We wake up sweating, sweat ALL day long and go to bed hot and...wait for it...exhausted (hehehe, you thought I was gonna say sweaty.) Heat takes a toll on a person, I'm cranky, hot, sweaty, but wait, there is an upside. With all this sweating my skin looks amaxing, I've lost 3 pounds and we basically go out for dinner each night as it's too hot to stand in the kitchen and cook, plus, restaurants have a/c. I know it's horrible and yes, I've BBQ'd LOTS, but the kids are about to turn into hot dogs and quite honestly my shoes are starting to melt to my kitchen floor, so yea, I'm all about going out for dinner. I called my mom the other day while I was sitting in the mini van with the a/c cranked on high. Of course I'm complaining and crying about how hot it is and what does she say? What does this Mother of mine who abandoned me and moved to Idaho when they retired, leaving their daughter all alone in the world (except for my husband and boys and in-laws) but Whatever! Guess what she has the guts to say to me?! "Oh geez honey, we don't even have air conditioners in Idaho, it's always so cool here." WHAT THE F@#! Yes, so moral of the story is, get you a/c fixed, don't complain to people who live in states where they don't need a/c and by all means, the most important thing I've pulled from this experience... Live your life on the straight and narrow. Going to Heaven means living in perfect climate control living in Hell means living in my house RIGHT now! I've just finished watching Julie and Julia, the cutest movie ever about a woman who loves to write and cook and how she cooks and blogs her way through Julia Childs cookbook in 1 year. As someone who loves to write, I've decided to challenge myself and write a blog entry pretaining to my life, my kids, vacation, school, whatever is happening. From brokem arms to school plays, marriage to cooking, drinking and whining! I'm not so big on cooking but I love my kids and my family and I love to make people laugh so here we go.
Some enteries will be a Mom quote of the day, some may be stories , some jokes. Some will be hilariously funny, some sad, who knows. Hopefully one is about me winning the lottery! So here we go, read, don't read, but hopefully as a mom you can enjoy and take comfort in that fact that all women raising children are living in chaos! Beautiful, lovely, funny chaos. So cheers to the next 365 Days of Mom! Let me start by saying how TOTALLY gross it is that I Googled "Poop Party" and a full blown Poop party image comes up! I mean Ewww! The fact that someone is making a fortune on a little piece of poo makes me re-think society. Regardless of how popular it is, I never really got the whole "Poop" emoji thing...ever! I thought they were little Hershey Kisses! I use to send them in text to my girlfriends all the time! Example: Karen: "Hey Nancy have a great day!" Nancy "Awe...how sweet!" (insert poop emoji) ***you know because I was TRYING to imply how sweet she was by sending her a Hershey Kiss. So yea, instead of telling my friends how sweet I thought they were...turns out I was basically telling them to eat shit! Hard lesson learned when my 12 year old asked why I was sending "crap" pictures to my friends...oops! So, back to my point, Poop emoji's are gross, poop is gross and poop parties with balloons and deserts...that's HARD NO! However, as mentioned in previous blogs, I have all boys. It's an important fact to remember as pooping, farting and burping are daily occurrences and honestly badges of honor in my household. Well for some crazy reason, I'm not sure if they are scared of the bathroom or just get bored alone but my two youngest boys have come up with this thing called a "Poop Party." Basically they hang out with each other in the bathroom while one sits on the toilet and poops. (I already know what you're thinking!! It's SO weird! Right?! Well, yea it is, but p.s. I've stopped trying to figure out the opposite sex after three of them came out of my body! I've learned it's easier on old mom if you just roll with it.) So these poop parties consist of one kid on the toilet while the other lays in the bathtub (or what my 5 year old now refers to as his "office." **Side note: Any moms who are just becoming friends with me, PLEASE don't judge me when you're at my house and you see both my boys walk into the bathroom together and one says "Hey, why don't you lay in your office while we have our poop party?" Dear Lord grant me patience and understanding friends!** Well as of today, Poop Parties have stopped! Null, void, never happening ever, ever again!! Hate to go all Liam Neeson on them but if they every try one again Momma's gonna be like, "If you poop party again I'm going to find you. I have a very particular set of skills, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you." "Why?" You ask. Well I'll let you in on the horrible, gross, smelly, vomit inducing, eyes watering little secret that went down in my guest bathroom. One morning my boys had a Poop Party. No biggie, happens all the time so a little later the poop party is over, kids take off running outside, life goes on. A few minutes later I walk down the hallway, past the bathroom when I get a major whiff of, well, you know, boy poop. I don't think much of it as they JUST went to the bathroom. But still...wheeewww! Its's ripe! (Keep in mind we're in California, mid summer so it's about 112 degrees outside and our a/c is in full effect!) My husband gets home from work later and makes the comment , "Geez, who died in the bathroom?! I can smell it all the way down the hallway!" So I sniff the air (Why? Not totally sure but it's the same thing when you're in a crowded room and someone yells "Who farted?" What's the first thing you do? SNIFF!! Like we can't just take someone's word for it, we just HAVE to smell that fart evidence for ourselves!) COMPLETE side note:" EWW!" The next time someone yells "Who farted?!" Just plug your nose. No one needs the image of that burrito some guy had for lunch wafting into your body via your nose.) So moving on. The air outside cools, we shut the a/c off and open all the windows. Guess what? Poop smell gone! Yay...just had to open every window in the house to get rid of it but still...adios poo poo! Fast forward to the next morning when the a/c kicks on. Any guesses what it smells like all of the sudden? Yup. A whole lotta' crap! We look for poop everywhere! Honestly thinking our dogs pooped in the house but nope! No poop is to be found anywhere. Ok, so where the hell is the scent coming from. We looked everywhere and found NOTHING! "Where is that poop smell coming from!!" I scream from the hallway. Garrett sitting there playing a video game, kid doesn't even look away from the tv when he says, "Mom, I know why it still smells like poop." Danny comes running in, yelling, "GARRETT! You promised!!" All I can think is "You PROMISED?!!!" What the hell does that mean!! As I'm trying to stay calm long enough to coerce the truth out of my kids before I loose it! I calmly (as not to arise suspicion) ask, "Garrett, honey, how do you know why it still smells like poop?" I'm so calm, scary calm, like that calm that as my kids get older they'll learn to understand 'calm mom ' is scarier than 'mean -loud mom.' Garrett simply says "Danny had to poop while I was in the middle of my poop party so he pooped on the floor." OK! Problem solved. I run into the bathroom and check the logical places a child would hide poop. Nope! Nothing in the garbage, nothing under the sink, nothing learking in the bathtub and nothing hidden in any drawers. What the frick!!! I have fire coming from my ears but I take a few deeps breaths and ask "Garret, what did Danny do with his poop?" Garrett, "Oh he hid it in the hole in the wall." (The hole in the wall would be the air conditioning vent. The one that's not covered since we are remodeling the bathroom.) Great. So I squeeze my little hand as far down as it will go and grab something. I pull it up and what do I have? Toilet paper...LOTS and lots of toilet paper. This is the amount of toilet paper you'd expect if Jabba the Hut himself had taken a crap in the middle of your bathroom. And as I'm pulling it up I'm seeing little poop smears along the way. With each little brown poop I'm realizing more and more why it's been smelling so bad. Boom! Problem solved. Danny clearly picked his poop up, dropped it in the toilet and for some reason hid the toilet paper in the a/c vent. I am SO proud of my Sherlock Holmes sleuthing abilities. I proudly announce my discovery as soon as my husband walks in the door. So high fives all around, everyone is happy and by 'everyone' I mean myself and my husband. Clearly the kids don't give a crap (pun totally intended) they stuffed poopy toilet paper down the air conditioning vent. Well, as you guessed, this celebration lasts all of 2 hours when the a/c kicks back on. Yup. Shit smell for days! It smells SO bad it's like I went to Walmart and instead of buying the Better Homes and Garden scented wax cubes of Pumpkin Spice I accidentally bought "A Summers Crap!" It got so bad we put the dogs outside and sent all the boys to my mother in laws house because we actually thought the kids might get sick from the smell coming from the a/c vents! With the kids gone my husband gets that look on his face. You know, the 'I'm going to fix this," look on his face. He walks outside to the shed and walks in with a Saws-All in his hands. He calmly walks into the bathroom, shuts the door and proceeds to cut away the bathroom wall right below the vent. He soon realizes his hands are too big to fit in the vents so he cuts the vent itself all the way down to the floor! After an exhausting hour of trying to use the Shop-Vac, then a bent hanger, and finally his arm, he reaches down into the depths of our house and dramatically (like in slow motion) pulls out a poop the size of a grown mans hand! Holy Mother!!! No wonder my house smelled like frigging poop! It was literally wafting out of every vent in my house! It could have given my entire family, kids, dogs and cats frigging' Pink Eye!! What the hell is wrong with kids and their thought process?! So the moral of my story is....If you have kids...they may drive you crazy...they may stress you out...they may do stupid , dumb stuff....BUT, if you've never had to cut a hole in your wall to remove human poop from your heating and air conditioning vents, hey...you're doing a GREAT job! After I duct taped the hole in the bathroom wall closed and my husband took a shower..using hand sanitizer, we realized the kids were still at the in-laws house and we had a rare evening alone! Sitting outside we laughed thinking all it took was one piece of poop, hundreds of dollars of damage to our bathroom, and a potential pink eye outbreak that would alert the CDC to put an end to Poop Parties and to give Mom and Dad one evening away from the kids. So cheers!
Oh sweet happiness in a jar!!(Side Blip#1-see bottom of blog) I'm over the moon right now.
After 4 (yup, I said 4) Fantasy Football draft nights in less than 1 month (2 of which were at my house. i.e. "bring us pizza, buy us beer, then take the kids and leave.") My glorious husband has taken all 3...ALL 3...kids to a baseball game...an hour away! I'm about to squeal with joy! No really! When Jeff called and told me this I was at a stop light...I hung up and did the happy dance! No, seriously. I had to roll my window down and explain to the car next to me. "I'm not crazy..I just have no kids at home tonight!!!!" Is that really so wrong? This morning I was at my breaking point and now..now...well now I'm eating my dinner, while it's still hot!!! OMG! I'm drinking a glass of wine that no one has accidentally spilled on me by running through the house. I am watching a movie..with bad words in it..oh yea! Mommy is home alone! I'm literally doing pirouettes in my living room. My phone rang and I pirouetted my way into the kitchen to answer my phone. I practically sang "Helllooo!" I was actually nice to a telemarketer. Who am I? Mommy's not yelling, Mommy's not burning dinner, Mommy's not crying in the bathroom clutching a glass of wine..she just happy. (Blip#2) I'm happier than Pharrell Williams singing "Happy" while swimming in Scrooge McDucks money pit, wearing a diamond bikini!! Awe...so happy. Tonight, I'm going to blog. No stopping to wipe a poopy butt, or turn on X-Box, or put a band-aide on an invisible owie. I will clean up no spills, fix no hot dogs for dinner, cutting each one into 72 tiny pieces so no one chokes on them. I'm going to go to the bathroom with the door shut! (Oh yea, whose a bad ass?!) This Mommy is going to watch Sex & the City...because every time it comes on my sons yells "Mom's watching a show about Sex!!' I'm going to brush my teeth with a toothbrush that hasn't been in the dogs mouth, I'm going to read a book that doesn't have any pictures in it! It's funny to think about the lives we had pre-children, laughable really. Who needs to lay in bed and cuddle on a rainy Saturday? Who needs to hold hands and walk on the beach. Who needs to eat at fancy restaurants? I did. Then kids. LOL! Now I lay in bed until 6:00 am with 5 bodies in one bed, a nice dinner out is McDonalds, and walking on the beach? HA! I'll never walk on a beach the same way, without 3 little sets of hands between my husband and me, wanting us to "swing" them entire time. (Damn, I hope they don't grow up too fast. ) But regardless, sometimes you need a little alone time, a little "me" time. Don't loose yourself in a mountain of Legos, but take a breather every so often to remember who you are. The Mommy who drinks wine, watches chick shows, and paints her toe nails. If you feel guilty, you can always ask God for forgiveness later. "Forgive me father for I have Zined." (For any new readers: Blip=Side note that needs to be explained but not in the middle of my blog OR a really great thought that needs to be read.) #1-Happiness in a jar...duh..it's wine. #2-I really do LOVE my kids, I'm just thrilled to have some "me"time" I'm about to burst into a rainbow of Skittles!
You ever have one of "those days?" LOL..of course you have!
You have kids! We parents can tolerate quite a lot. Fights, yelling, messes, spilled milk, bruises, broken antique vases from our dearly departed Grandmothers that are irreplaceable...(tears) But...that's OK! You know why it's ok????? WINE!!!! There ya go..I've just solved all your problems. I could end my blog now but then how would I get Gallo to contribute to my therapy? You may be laughing but I genuinely feel as though if you have anymore than 2 kids, wine will be your salvation! (O M G...I sound like a Televangelist... but for alcohol.) I love my life and my job, I love my husband and my kids but Holy Buckets I'd probably be in a loonie bin somewhere without wine. (And yes, I know I just cussed like Donna Reed...it's because I have kids..for Pete's Sake!) Not to stray too far from the topic but...who the hell is Pete? Anyone? (1st person to comment get...wait for it...WINE!) I came home today and thought...I have to pick up the kids, run to the store, start dinner, start homework, do bath time, brush teeth, get everyone in bed. Ugh! Not to mention I'm fighting a battle against the school's yard duties...Mom VS Yard Duty...yea, I'm gonna win...wanna know why? (Not wine! What are you thinking?) I'm a bad ass that's why! (Oh yea, I said Ass! It's my blog and I"ll cuss if I want to! As a matter of fact...ass, ass, ass!) Ah ha ha, I love that my kids can't read this! Really though, sometimes I'm just so overwhelmed by my responsibilities or kids or just life, that I just want to hide. Not crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head kind of hide but literally hide from everyone and steal a few minutes for myself. I'm curious as to where everyone's hiding places are? Not your kids hiding places..YOUR hiding places. You know, those secret little nooks and crannies you use to hide from your kids. Ok, fine, I'll go first.... Hiding Place #1:The Bathroom Duh! It's kind of a 2 for 1 because; a. I don't care if everyone knows I'm in there and b. no one is allowed to bother me because I'm doing my business. (P.S. this works on both kids and husbands.) If i'm at my breaking point all I have to do is fake a few stomach cramps and tell my hubbs I need to go potty. It's the perfect lie! He won't dare bother me because men still think women don't poop, so you're clear there. And as a bonus, he thinks your indisposed and he'll keep the kids away too! "Hello! Winning!" I mean, sometimes I'm actually using the toilet but 90% of the time I'm sitting in the bathtub checking my Facebook page. But hey, what they don't know won't kill 'em. Hiding Place #2: The Closet My closet. Ah yes, the good old closet. There are those times when it's either I hide & take a moment for myself or I pull out all my hair and join a circus. I do enjoy a nice quiet place to just sit and the closet is just too perfect to ignore. It's dark & quiet, only one way in and one way out. I can sit on the floor, grab one of the Space Saver Cubes that has all our winter blankets in it, lean back and relax. So if you ever come over and my family is running around like they've just snorted 30 packets of Sweet N' Low, then you'll know where to find me. Hiding in the closet, reading 50 Shades of Grey & sipping some wine that I have hidden under the bridesmaid dress from my sister's 2nd wedding. It's perfect! Hiding place #3: The Kitchen "The kitchen?" you ask yourself. "Yup! I know this sounds crazy but no one in my family ever goes in there looking for me. See I have a theory about the kitchen... Men (all men) old and young, big & small, they are allergic to the kitchen. If someone's thirsty it's "Mom! I'm thirsty, can you get me some water?" And, "Babe, will you grab me a beer from the fridge?" You'll seldom see a man in the kitchen except for maybe major holidays. Even when Mom is too sick to stand, my boys don't venture into the kitchen...they call & order pizza. So basically I believe they are either allergic to the kitchen or maybe there's this magical force field that prevents them from crossing the threshold into the area where food is prepared. Either way, I can often sit on the floor, leaning up against the cupboards and have a moments peace while sipping a fermented grape beverage. And literally no one will look for me there! It's pure genius!! I think the point is that as women we need to take a stand and demand better benefits. We may not get paid very well for all the hats we wear but damn it...we deserve a little break here and there. And let's be honest, everyone is better off at the end of the day when mom gets a breather and a little vino in her! Hail to the grape!
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"Trevor! Have you fed Bruno Brownie yet?!" I yell outside as I'm fixing dinner. The boys come in and as Trevor grabs the bowl I say "Gavin & Bubby , why don't you two go feed Toots & Mr. Fluffy Pants. "
All I can't think is "what the hell just came out of my mouth?!" It sound like I'm running some rehabilitation for retired prostitutes! "Brownie. Toots. Mr.Fluffy Pants, for God's sake!" Upon hearing these words escape my mouth I'm thrown into a solid 5 minutes of thought. Trying to contemplate the reasoning behind each animals name. I mean really, a name is important. What is the first thing you do when you find out your pregnant? (Besides throw up) you immediately start pondering names. Girl names and boy names. Do you go traditional and use a family name. Do you blaze a new trail and go with a more modern name. Or maybe go really old school... Biblical (Matthew, Mark, Luke or John?) I guarantee you had lists upon lists upon lists. Meetings and focus groups to discuss every possible name. Maybe even took a family and friends poll. (Go ahead, keep laughing...we both know you did it!) The important thing is, however you got there, I can guarantee you spent 3 - 9 months to make that decision of all decisions. Now stop what you're doing (except keep reading this blog or this question won't make any sense :o) How much time did it take you to name your family dog? Or cat or hamster...whatever. Like 10...15 minutes? Exactly! It's like there's this universal law that says "You just took an animal into you family. They need a name right NOW!!!" Why? I don't know but it's true right? We name our pets in minutes compared to the months it takes to name our children. Wanna know why? (I know, you're dying to hear my version of why) Well, after extensive, scientific research (i.e. Facebook poll) I've concluded we humans name our pets from 1 of 4 categories. 1. Physical description 2. Personality traits 3. Food &/or Beverage names 4. Human names we LOVE (but won't name our children) OMG...I know! I'm totally right! (That's what you're thinking, I'm just putting it out there. Perfect example: Category 1: Physical description My cats name is Mr.Fluffy Pants, (see gray cat on left.) originally he was bald and the size of a twig and his was named Lucky, due to being lucky he survived...but as time went on we changed his name. From "Lucky" to "Fluffers" (we stopped that for obvious reasons. I mean, no parents wants their child running around the house saying 'I see Fluffers!' right?) To then, "Senior Fluffy pants" and now just "Mr. Fluffy Pants." So yea, he's big and had fluffy legs, looks like he's wearing fluffy,gray pants. (And in all honesty...he kinda' looks like Dr.Evil's cat...but with hair.) I also have a dog my kids named Bruno (middle name Brownie, because he looks like a...yup, brownie.) I tried to get them to go with Mars but that didn't happen. A friend of mine named her dog Master Fat-Fat. Any guesses why? No, really, don't hold back. Let's just say I don't think this dog had an eating order! Category 2: Personality Trait So, my Dad use to tell us stories about this silly dog he had, named D.S. Now I understand that's not overly descriptive name...but in all honestly, the dog use to run around in circles in the backyard, for hours, for no reason! Yea, his name was Dumb Shit. My sister had a cat named Slinky...who use to lay flat on the stairs and just slid down. (I don't know if she heard her name and just went with it or if she was scared of stairs and had a stroke every time she looked downstairs.) Either way...that cat OWNED her name! Last but not least, my girlfriends dog was named Coco....LOL...ok, we ALL know where I'm going with this! A. The dog was brown. B. Dog only drank hot chocolate or C. Dog had a problem (sniff-sniff!) Ah ha ha! Catergory 3: Human Names we like -but not not enough to name our children.) A few friends chimed in with their pets names: Daisy, Pixie & Sunshine. Cute names for puppy's but really, you don't necessarily want to give your daughter's those names in fear their future career path would already planned out. Might as well name 'em Bambie. Then there's Yoda, Buster & Bruiser. Need I explain? Dogs yes, humans...eh...maybe no. Last but not least Catergory 4: Food/Beverage names Apparently my family, starting with my Grandma, had some major food issues. I think we just loved certain foods SO much we couldn't help but name our animals after it. Perfect example: Grandma's cats: Twinkie & Muffin (and yes, they were a kitty couple) My sister's cat: Skittles Me: Nope, sorry, never wanted to eat my animals. (I stayed in category 1.) But other people wrote in with: Cheddar, Boozer, Snicker-Doodle, Coors, Fry-Fry, no joke, kinda' makes me hungry. I asked my son what he would name a pet...he said "I dough-not know." lol..love that kid! So, in conclusion. No matter what you end up naming your pet, the #1 most important thing to remember, not matter if it's a descriptive name, a perfect-personality name, a human name, or a food name ...MAKE SURE IT'S SOMETHING YOU CAN YELL OUT LOUD!! No neighbor wants to hear you yelling "Bruno...stop trying to get Lucky!" |
AuthorBeing the CEO of chaos while raising 3 boys helps Nancy find inspiration & humor in everyday life. She is an aspiring author who loves anything that sparkles! Glitter, bubbly, laughing & raising her kids are her favorite things. Archives
July 2021
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